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Heavenly HeavenlyQue Sera, Sera Thanks for visiting!
5/16/2008 Links (FYI)I personally found this link useful http://www.mca.gov.cn/article/zwgk/tzl/200805/20080500014326.shtml
However if you were in Singapore as well, you might just wanna make use of this link http://www.chinaembassy.org.sg/chn/xwdt/t434503.htm which is more direct. I really should have used it, but I was too late in finding it, i.e. already used the first link, which is probably meant for people in China after all. By the way Citibank in Singapore sucked ass because the wire transfer fee was ridiculous, and I am now feeling stupid for using their service.
If you were in the US, this link seems to be it http://www.china-embassy.org/eng/xw/t434820.htm
1/9/2008 Confirmed employeeI was told earlier tonight (by letter) that I finished my 3 months probation and am now a confirmed employee of Eurekahedge.
What can I say? To think I had all those complaints some time ago. Really, this company has treated me rather nicely. I'm not an ungrateful person.
Time to show some good work, I guess.
And they even increased my pay by 500. I was totally surprised.
Soon I'll get my business cards, for the first time in my life.
This is so weird - from now on I'll be known by some people only as the title described on my business card, and that's all about me, to them. 12/18/2007 Helluva lifeYup it is helluva life, literally. To work your ass off in exchange for money and, seems more importantly, legitimacy.
I mean, however, I'm not exactly working as hard as I probably should. It's only my hour; that's the only thing that seems ungodly, hence making me a subject of great sympathy. But I'm telling you, yes I am ashamed yet am telling you, that I've totally lacked appropriate work ethic over the past three months and I'm shamelessly getting paid for non-productivity.
The company blocked many fun sites, most recently facebook. Like a slap in my face.
I'm just idle all the time. What I don't understand is whenever people at work ask me about my work, my life, I just smile very naturally and juggle with something like I'm great and everything is fine, with a deceitful surge of enthusiasm. I guess I am indeed great and everything after all is fine? But I'm very consciously aware something is missing, and that something is not less than vital. It took my demon (see The Golden Compass).
Legitimacy. I hate working like this but what, there's a voice in my head telling me it's the only right thing for me at the moment. And I am not entitled to any pleasure without working a job like this. But pleasure? While I'm busy legitimizing my own existence, I'm a bit too disenchanted to feel it.
But, fuck why am I such a self-condemned coward? Plenty of people get by, why can't I screw it and live the way I please without a guilty conscience? To think there actually is the resource that will allow me?
I feel terribly guilty even thinking all this. Having such feelings is unfair to the one who's always by my side. I'm so unworthy of his effort of giving me a life I want.
Because - is it justifiable to feel lonely, to feel something is missing from your life, when the person you love always keeps you company and attends to your needs without fail? In my case, it's not. So that makes me a betrayer.
And a difficult person. A person who's increasingly sarcastic about the "mundanes" that she almost suffers anhedonia. This unfortunately not only misguided myself, but maybe some closest others. "Staying afloat" is our way to prevent mingling with or assimilating to the mundane; but the terrible consequence is becoming dysfunctional in the very environment, of which the majority is mundane.
What's more satirical is I am a big joke myself - and probably the most mundane of 'em all. And this pseudo-Freudian free association - I don't know what else to call it - entertains myself at the same time it embarrasses me. Can you understand now, I'm that sick.
Someone once advised me - now was it Battle or some other professor, but never mind - someone told me to stay light-hearted and naive as long as I could before becoming bitter and sarcastic. That, I think, is like spiritually staying a virgin - therefore losing it definitely causes pain, but of course only mentally in this case. The end. 7/1/2007 Ratatouille & iPhoneI've been waiting for both and today I saw them both!
iPhone was released at 6p.m. yesterday - June 29th, 2007. We went to the Apple store today just to look at this novel phone and there were half a dozen of them on display so we played with them for quite a while before going into the movie theater. We even took photos right there with iPhone, as many people did, and sent them to our emails. Don't I love technology!!! The phone is fantastic. I mean it, cuz I hardly ever use the word fantastic to credit things, it's a little too dramatic. But this time I mean it. It's a shame that we can't buy one here before we leave, cuz we won't be able to use it once we leave the US, they just won't give you the security code to let you use it elsewhere. Although we indeed have been AT&T customers for two years(whatever, Cingular is now AT&T), they just won't do us this favor. Hope iPhone will arrive in Singapore soon, so that I can have one when I get there. Go Apple! | |||||||||||||||||||||||
